There is a whole world out there. A whole wide damn world, full of animals and scenes and architecture and people, that should be loved by us. Yet, how can we love such beauty, and loathe ourselves?
I learned that no one can truly love you on behalf on you, it just doesn’t work. They can mould you into whatever they think you are but in reality, is it really you you see staring back at you in the tired morning mirror?
We have people that love us, but have you noticed that it doesn’t take away the negative feelings YOU have towards yourself? Because, my love, and this is the terrifying thing, you really need to learn to love yourself.
It won’t happen overnight, please don’t allow me to mislead you. It will take a long time, and there will probably always be things you will want to change, but the difference is how you view it.
The thing is, it’s okay to be longing for more. We all want what we can’t or don’t have. We all want to change things: travel more, be bigger/be skinnier, have longer hair, live in a big city, live in a small country village, we want to have lots of money and a nice car, maybe we want a husband or wife, with the dog and the kids and the perfect white picket fenced house. It’s okay to search for more, we as humans are curious so how can we blame and chastise ourselves for always looking for new ways to be happy?
I’m not there yet, not by a mile, but sometimes I look back to even a year ago when I was lonely and scared and I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. You have to choose yourself sometimes, we should do that more.
The world becomes a much brighter, beautiful place when we agree to let ourselves be free. It’s so much more sublime when we do what makes our souls sing. It’s not straightforward to learn to love yourself, sometimes you have to fake it until you make it.
Put positive affirmations out into the world, write a gratitude list then read it everyday. If you have to tell yourself 1001 times that you can do this and you are worth it, then that’s what you do.
If you’re anxiety hits, busy your mind even if it’s with trivial tasks. If you’re out a walk, count the trees you see or how many times you see the colour red. If you’re in your room then stretch and breathe, close your eyes and focus on counting. If you’re in a meeting, take your notes and ask to slow down if needed. Take bathroom breaks. Eat your food, drink your water. If you can, reach out to someone you trust. Remember, you’re not alone.
Self love is such an important part of life, especially now. We have to do what makes us happy or brings us peace. It can be as small as painting your nails or watching your favourite movie, or as big as quitting your job or moving house.
If there’s something in your life or your past that is taunting you, terrifying you, traumatising you, then do what needs to be done to remove it. Speak to someone, like a loved one or a professional or both, and have faith you can work through it. Remove it from your life, delete it or bin it or block it. Take away the thing that fills your being with dread or unhappiness, you’re worries will become much lighter.
It’s intimidating but you have to push yourself to get where you want to be. If you never try, you’ll never know. Start small and take life one day at a time.
And once you do, the views will be absolutely magnificent.